Following Up

Some things are resolved right away, with one swift action. Other things take repetition, over and over again, doing new things, often badly, calling in experts, then avoiding, then obsessing over, and, each time, following up.

Distracting myself, away from the moment, from boredom, from slowness, from the uncontrollable nature of other people. There are things I'd rather do, things I want to do, things I resist doing. Most of it is non-doing, just being, being at home, being with clients and associates, being with contractors and a dog and a baby. But wanting TV, wanting to write, wanting to organize, wanting to do all the little task things rather than just hang out in the space of beingness with life. Putting more pressure on myself to prove, to demonstrate, to show myself capable, responsible, show tangibility.

Unnecessary. Too many layers on top of what is simple and direct. So I follow the thread, back towards the center, from the splash of thinking to the almost silent space closer to the bone.